Gym Rules to Live By, According to Pat Flynn
Practice unsolicited eye contact.
Wear a helmet.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
Unless you’re better than them.
Old men creep me out.
Squat in the curl rack.
Always put your equipment back.
Always wipe down your equipment after using it.
Use good form. Otherwise wear a helmet. Oh wait, you’re already wearing a helmet!
For like five seconds.
Want abs more than anything. Then, 1) do two sets of sit ups at the end of your workout, and 2) roll over in exhaustion.
Wear salacious clothing.
Just because you’re self-centered doesn’t mean people aren’t watching you.
When people are around, do only exercises you’re good at.
If not good at any exercises, do only exercises nobody does.
Make up exercises.
Bring a bucket with your pet frog in it.
Make frequent trips to water fountain.
Should you skip leg day? Can you do chest and arms? Yes ==> skip leg day. No ==> Why not? … That’s what I thought.
Have a good view of stair climber at all times.
Drink weird colored liquid throughout workout in over-sized water bottle.
Wear fingerless gloves. (See point about salacious clothing)
Wear legless pants.
Take up more space than you need.