The internet is so filthily riddled with fat-loss hocus-pocus that it has become an enormous and unnecessary trouble to sift through all the marketing bunkum as to find even the smallest germ of usefulness; All because the common bunch of internet marketers are all too good at never letting the facts get in the way of profits, and know all too well that that which is preposterously untrue is always far easier to sell to the general herd than the plain, ugly facts.
But, to offer something of a refreshment with my posting today, I will be factual and to the point, aside from my usual loquaciousness, naturally, and after you set this article down (assuming you read it all the way through), I promise you will come out with a workout both effective and concise. Sound good?
Every morning, when I was twelve years old, I’d eat an Ego Waffle, watch Thundercats, and bicep curl a soup can. I got the idea of curling a soup-can from my mom’s 8-minute arms videocassette, which came packaged with the 8-minute abs videocassette. It’s not short of astounding, when one is twelve years old, or any age, really, at how impressionable the mind is, how imprints can be so easily inscribed, new connections formed in the brain, and delusions. I’m fairly certain all materials put into my head up until about age 16 were delusions, and I still struggle against them.
Very truly I thought the soup can was going to do it for me, as a thickly-muscled man, with bouldering biceps, and bronzed, will put any prepubescent down the road of conviction, no matter what the charade.
There was a girl in the seventh grade who I liked. She had red hair and a few freckles on her face, and her name was Abbey. My plan was to show her my muscles, and to win her over easy, but there was an error: when I flexed, my bicep looked like a peanut in tissue paper.
So I curled that damn soup can every morning for a month. Thirty second sets, about fourteen million of them, but nothing ever came of it—my bicep was defunct, and Abbey didn’t marry me. But that is well, because we dated for a while regardless, certainly not on the premises of my physique, but on the premises of her sense of humor. But it didn’t work out, because I dumped her shortly after she said we shouldn’t see each other anymore.
That’s typically how I end relationships. No sooner than does as a woman say something along the lines of “I don’t think this is working”, or “maybe we should see other people”, or “please stop calling me pretending to be Gary Busey”, I just end it right then and there, DONE!, because that’s nonsense, and I don’t put up with it.
Turns out I could never see my bicep because it was covered in some twelve layers of fat, one for each year of life. My arms, for most of when I was 10, 11, 12, and 13, looked stay-puffed, and I suspect I bore some resemblance to a walking bowl of pudding, with some of it spilling over the edges.
Eventually I came to terms with the plain fact that I was, like all my other kinfolk, fat. So I set out to reverse the order, and between the years of 14-17, I did every single workout, except the right one, and I did every single diet too, except the right one. But as the truth is simply what remains after all errors are swept away, I eventually came into something useful, and I want to share that with you today.
By age 18 I reduced my body fat levels down to 8%. Here and again I dip lower still, when I want to, and when the weather is hot , but always I remain at 8% or lower. I still drink beer, too, on occasion.
How I do it is a simple, minimalistic matter. I’ve told you about it before, and I’ve outlined how to do it in great detail in various Inner Circle newsletters, but today, I want to give it to you in brief. If you’d like something a bit more formalized, or even a full program, well I want you to have it too, so come try out the Inner Circle for a month. And that is all the shameless sales pitching I’m going to do, for today.
I do not think there is any one best fat-loss workout, though I think The 9-Minute Workout comes pretty close, but I do think there is a best overall general prescription for melting fat right off the body, and it is this:
High Intensity Metabolic Conditioning (15-30 minutes) + Low-Intensity Aerobic Activity (30-60 minutes).
To put it in a more familiar form:
Kettlebell Complex Training (15-30 minutes) + Brisk Walking (30-60 minutes).
Translation: Work very hard briefly, and then quite easily for a while.
And for best results, do it fasted. That is, instead of putting food in your mouth before you workout, don’t.
Strength training, in the raw, and also very important for fat-loss, should be done before metabolic conditioning, and while freshest. Let me give you an example.
10am: Strength Session:
Double Clean and Press x 1,2,3,1,2,3
Muscle Up x 1,2,3,1,2,3
Weighted Chin x 1,2,3,1,2,3
Bulgarian Split Squat x 1,2,3,1,2,3
Single Leg Deadlift x 1,2,3,1,2,3
(Psst—you could super-set some of those, btw)
10:45am: Metabolic Conditioning:
1-2 rounds of The 9-Minute Workout.
If you don’t have The 9-Minute Workout, then any one of my kettlebell workouts of the week will do.
Let us, in this instance, go with The Hellion.
2 x Two Hand Swing
2 x One Arm Swing
2 x Thruster (R+L)
Each round, add two reps until you reach ten reps of each movement. Set the bell down only if form starts to falter.
11:15am: Brisk Walk (30-60 minutes):
Like someone is trailing you.
Perhaps a little black coffee, or green tea, but really, this sort of work is best done in a fasted state as it will potentiate the fat burning effects.
20-30 grams of Whey (or, if intolerant, Branched Chain Amino Acids), to be consumed immediately after your brisk walk. Carbs can wait, but, if you must, something natural and of the low-glycemic variety. Like berries.
It’s nearly time for my supper, and I hope you got something out of this post, but, as usual, nothing I wrote here is of any usefulness, less you put it to good use.
Let me know if you have any questions in the comment section.
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