There was only one heckler at Paleo(fx), when I came down to give my talk on fitness minimalism.
And he suffered from only one singular defect: that is, for him, the apparatus which a person uses to think had gone missing. But he had neither detected its absence any more than if he had lost a sock, nor was he inconvenienced by it in any way above a person who has gotten his tonsils removed, or is lacking his vermiform appendix.
It is a curious thing, Brain. It is so highly valued, and such a privileged asset that amongst my critics it is granted exemption from all conversation through email, Facebook, and in person. And yes, I do think a person should eat fish, because the omega-3 oils in it work to build Brain. But how much would one of my critics have to take? Well, they are all a little bit different, but going off the usual case, I venture to suggest simply a couple of whales a day.
Anyways, I wish you had been there at Paleo(fx), intelligent reader, because what fun times we would have had!
My talk, like I said, was on Fitness Minimalism, particularly on Exercise and the 80/20 rule. And my big point was this. Don’t try and change the 80/20 rule—just work with it.
Simply, if we know 80% of our gains come from 20% of our efforts, then give 80% of your time to the 20%, and 20% of your time to 80%. Done.
I told a few dirty jokes, and got some people refreshed and amused. I told this one joke, however, and paused, and then looked around to gather some applause and I got what I deserved, I guess, karmically speaking, for never dropping a nickel into the collection basket.
I taught the swing, too. This business was done in “the pit”, and how easy my participants made my job for me! Swinging with all the ease and comfort of a raft of ducks paddling around the pond. The lesson took about two hours, and everyone came out as pleased and tired as a cat.
My friend Molly was there, and told me all about this new program she’s putting together—a modern guide to strength training for women—and even let me have a sneak peek. It’s so cool, and let me tell you this, I’ve never seen a program for women so wonderfully thorough or deliciously complete, or so satisfyingly intelligent in all my 17 years of life.
I asked her if she would work out with me, and she said yes. Then I asked her if she would put me through a “minimalist” workout, for all of you, and she said yes to that, too.
I was so tired, now, and ready to go home. We stopped into the store at the hotel for some water, and I met the owner, who was so sweet and nice. She said some things in Mandarin, or Chinese, or Tangerine, or whatever, I really didn’t understand a word of it, but she was such a good salesman and psychologist that I ended up buying a Spiderman puffball for my keychain, the only thing I’ve ever wanted, apparently, and a Monkey named Charlie, who is a puffball, too.
PS – I’m looking for a few people–a couple guys, a couple girls–who want to get strong WITHOUT any gym equipment, and test out this new “vagabond” bodyweight strength training program I’m putting together (perfect for nomads, wanderers, jet setters, busy-business people, the generally downtrodden, and recently evicted.).
I’m making it super cheap (not free, no; charity only purchases me heaps of ingratitude, I’ve found), for anyone who is willing to try it out for 3-months, and then share their awesome results with me. It’s minimalist, and all you need equipment-wise is something you can do pull ups up–ANYTHING you can do pull ups on.
If interested, email me at PatFlynn@ChroniclesOfStrength.com with the subject line of “Vagabond”, and I’ll get you the details.